Thursday, February 14, 2008
Adventures in Britishisms
This is what it's like working with the British: From: Friedlander, Joshua (NY) Sent: Friday, February 08, 2008 10:42 AM To: Helen (UK)
Internet Users Learning To Count!
Internet users have been proudly demonstrating their success in learning about 1st and 2nd.
Cranky caller calls U.S. all screwed up
This has been sitting in my email for some time, but I finally thought to give it a go. My friend with the initials IRS (no kidding) has a New York number identical to that of Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) except for the (212) area code.
Solution for Famine in Darfur
Famine in Africa and specifically in Darfur has been a hot topic in the news and related media during the last few years. Celebrities and politicians have been quick to give their opinion on the issues in Darfur and their popularity has sky-rocketed, however, never once did they offer a viable solution.
The Only Ticket That Matters In 2008
We've all heard the lines about the candidates. Obama has no political experience, Clinton will sell us out to the corporations, McCain is "Bush-Lite", and Paul is just plain crazy. Well America, there is only ONE ticket that matters in 2008 if you want change, freedom, and terrorists tapping out to the Figure Four Leg Lock!
Example of Creative Writing for Bloggers: Very Funny.
Getting traffic to your blog is not as hard as maintaing it. When you start a blog, you might think you are the only person blogging on that topic - you are wrong. There are literally hundreds and thousands of others who write on that very topic. [...]
Darwin Awards Out for 2007!
The ShaolinTiger gives his opinion (and awards) on the top 8 stupidest deaths of 2007. What-were-they-thinking moments promised.
Darwin Awards Out for 2007!
The ShaolinTiger gives his opinion (and awards) on the top 8 stupidest deaths of 2007. What-were-they-thinking moments promised.
When a tree eats a motorcycle
Saw this picture a fair while back and thought how long has this bike been leaning against this tree.
How To Get Over A Break Up ?
Getting over a break up is by no means an easy process. You may have heard that time heals all wounds; this is particularly true in the case of getting over a break up. Without allowing yourself the appropriate time and space in which to heal, you will not be successful in getting over the situation and moving on.
You are CNN!
CNN has a big, fancy election map. You don't. Doesn't that just steam your buns? SFP has the SOLUTION! Now YOU can harness the power of the INTERNET and have balls as big as Anderson Cooper 360 with your OWN POLITICAL MAP!
Area Eccentric Reads Entire Book
GREENWOOD, IN—Sitting in a quiet downtown diner, local hospital administrator Philip Meyer looks as normal and well-adjusted as can be. Yet, there's more to this 27-year-old than first meets the eye: Meyer has recently finished reading a book.
California prostitute of Technology
Extragalactic X-Ray Source Counts MAARTEN SCHMIDT California prostitute of Technology ABSTRAcr Extragalactic x-ray source counts carry information about the lumi- nosi~ function and cosmic evolution of galaxies, clusters of galaxies, BL Lac objects... This is OCR at its best!
Craziest Cars Accidents
Try to understand what happened to this cars, here you will see the most stranges and Not-Understandable car accidents!
Funny Dear Abby Joke
Yet another hysterical email came across my desk this morning, and I felt the need to share it with the world again. Many thanks to my friend Sharon who sent me this…I couldn't have said it better myself:
Internet meme ascends to Biblical level
The Sports Editor of the UNLV Rebel Yell newspaper compares "I Can Has Cheezburger" and LoLCats to "a deadly pathogen in a Michael Crichton novel, it expands and evolves until it crushes all in its path." He then goes on to discuss how the Bible is being converted into LoLSpeak.
Cold enough to freeze a waterfall
The picture is of a tourist enjoying an icicle which is part of a frozen waterfall in Mount Huangshan, east China's Anhui Province. Extreme low temperature turned the waterfalls into spectacular icicle falls. These falls in Mount Huangshan are now crystal clear and attractive with fine weather allowing spectators...
Random MySpace Kid Gets Schooled over IM
Being that I used to work for G4 television and Attack of the Show, I get a ton of 14 year old fans of G4tv adding me as friends on MySpace. I decided to log on to MySpace IM and see who IM'ed me. This is my latest random IM'er.
Love Is Blind, a game on a radio show that turns bad quickly
"Jennifer entered the contest so sure that her husband Chris could pick out her kiss from a lineup of people on just touch and taste alone - so we blindfolded him and put him to the test. So, is love really blind? Well, we lined Chris up in front of a single girl, a very willing gay man and his wife...."
Daddy’s Rules for Dating | Lagahit.com
Daddy's Rules for Dating Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy) : Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
دستور العمل استÙاده از مترو
به دوستاني كه با مترو سروكار دارند در صورتي كه دوست دارند به راحت ترين وجه ممكن از اين وسيله حمل و نقل استفاده كنند توصيه مي كنم كه دستورالعمل زير را براي استفاده از مترو به شدت رعايت كنند
Dismay as petrol station flowers fail to end relationship
Peter Wilson, a 29-year-old systems analyst from Solihull, was said to be 'upset and bewildered' after his Valentine gifts of a wilting bunch of carnations and a box of Maltesers from the local Esso garage were received with an enthusiastic hug and kiss from his long-term girlfriend, Clare.
Private Dick funny story - Kingpoetry
A quick fire set of one-liners telling the story of a drunken Private Eye. A laugh every line!
Not in Your Front Yard
People have always enjoyed the rules and order of planned communities, such as Levittown, NY, Celebration, FL and Jonestown, Guyana.
V is for Vagina: An Owner’s Manual
The tragic tale of the lost tampon - and the man who went in after it. (Last self submission - testing plugin from single page! Sorry and Thanks for understanding!!)
Women in nighties, ninja bloodsuckers, and idiot Senators
Night Trap! I remember this game for sega CD. I had no idea that back in the day it caused such a ruckus. It was a pretty crappy game. *Sigh* stupid Senators...
(Not So) Lovely Poems for Your Valentine
Perhaps you don't really like your special one! These are some really nice ways to tell them to basically piss off...
Humor: The Key to Survival
Survival is a state of mind. A drive that pushes us to our limits. Survival is getting to the bathroom after a long drive before everyone else. Survival is pushing your heavy shopping cart to that register before the lady on the other side of the store gets to it first.
Sex with Robots?
C.H. Dalton (the racist alter-ego of Daily Show writer Sam Means) opines on a future of intercourse with Robots.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Penis Reduction Pills: The perfect Valentine gift!
The finest penis-reduction placebos, shipped to you in boxes festooned with our logo in very large type so that the world knows you've got a huge schlong and aren't trying to do something about it.
Communication Is Important
A website that offers a great svc, an Official Notice generator you can fill out then email to another party.One mission when using this is simple.Sending hate-mail has never been easier.
Jimmy Carter's Got What America Needs
Sometimes I'm a little stupid, maybe, a little slow in the head, so I'm wondering if you can help me get something straight. Maybe you can help me understand one fucking thing right now, America, and explain to me what in the Christ is going on here. 'Cause, unless I'm missing something, this country is in the middle of a motherfucking shitstorm.
Randy Newman’s Inspiration- A Dark Secret
After years of rumors and speculation, Randy Newman fans are finally receiving a long-sought answer to a complicated question: are his lyrics really as simple as they seem, or do they have deeper meaning? Last week, Newman, 63, revealed the latter to be true.
Randy Newman’s Inspiration- A Dark Secret
After years of rumors and speculation, Randy Newman fans are finally receiving a long-sought answer to a complicated question: are his lyrics really as simple as they seem, or do they have deeper meaning? Last week, Newman, 63, revealed the latter to be true.
A Blonde's Year in Review
Almost everyone would review the previous year on their achievements, failures and what had happened too ...... as for blonde ....... it could be humorous
Juggling the details for Jewish lesbian wedding
http://www.lesbian.pro Somewhere between a Jewish wedding and a very small circus, Sara Felder's June Bride, now at the Painted Bride Art Center, is an entertaining and good-natured one-woman show. Like Felder's Out of Sight last year, June Bride is autobiographical.
Paint Drying: It's Even More Boring Than You Imagined
Watch this video before you think about saying something is as exciting as watching paint dry. Seriously, it's more boring than you ever imagined.
Naked Cowboy sues Mars for $6.5m
New York City street performer The Naked Cowboy is suing Mars Inc for $US6 million ($6.65 million) over the use of his trademark look - white underwear, cowboy boots and a hat - by a blue M&M chocolate on a Times Square billboard.
Paint Drying: It's Even More Boring Than You Imagined
Watch this video before you think about saying something is as exciting as watching paint dry. Seriously, it's more boring than you ever imagined.
Beijing Olympics set to be the new Atlanta
The upcoming Beijing Olympics are set to achieve the dizzy heights of the standards of the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Games. Organizers are rushing to complete construction and has the International Olympic Committee worried about China being behind schedule.
Environmentally Friendly Underwear? Yep. IT'S TRUE!!!
For an eco-friendly Valentine's Day present, how about giving the gift of green, but it's not money. FOX 26's Kristine Galvan has the details about some sexy and earth-friendly lingerie alternatives.
Top 11 things that would not exist in a world with no weed.
I present to you the top eleven things that wouldn't exist in a world without weed. And yes, it is a list of eleven. Any dumbass with a blog can give you a list of ten. It takes a real genius to bring you eleven.
Kermit the Frog Meets Shrek
This is a story about Kermit the Frog meeting Shrek at a swamp that they both call their home. In the end, they both become good friends.
What if Detective Stabler had Irritable Bowel Syndrome?
If one of the biggest badasses on network television were plagued by sudden emergencies - I'm not sure what would happen. But it would be pretty funny.
Woman sold herself on the online AUCTION !
On the online auction site, a woman, who became pregnant, bought six men and now is looking for the real name of the father
The Management Tree - Monkeys, all of them.
The corporate management tree is full of monkeys. Each one of them going for the sweetest fruit. And all of them falling sooner or later.
B3ta Image Challenge: Scientology
B3ta humour + Scientology: Now there's bound to be some gems here. Counting down the minutes to Tom cruise with a CDC :]
RooftopComedy.com: National College Comedy Competition
RooftopComedy.com has announced their first annual National College Comedy Competition. The five month long event kicks off Friday, February 15 at Harvard University and will hit 31 other colleges from now until May when the semi-finals and finals arrive in Aspen, Colorado.
Love Week: Swapping More Than PB&J
For my next "Love Week" installment, Danish Rhythm's Spencer Crawford wants to trade Gary Lundy his PB&J for something a bit tastier.... Click here to check out this very funny video
Law Would Require Drug Users To Inform Interested Neighbors
From the article: "Right now, countless Americans are living on the very same blocks as convicted illegal-drug users, without a federal mandate requiring full disclosure, how are unsuspecting residents supposed to find any decent weed?""
Saw this on the freeway today *PIC*
At first i was like "Oh shit, a bunch of crap is about to fall out" then i got close enough to realize that it was just a badass painting…
Declaration of Romantic Intent
A different kind of valentine from the Bureau of Communication. Think mad libs meets dirty.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sick Of The Same Old Fighters? STFU!
All fighting game characters have united under one union. Now you can see if Ryu really can kick Johnny Cage's butt. All fighters get the same salary and equal opportunity employment (no glass ceiling for women fighters). So Chun-Li can finally stop pumping steroids into her thighs. Fighter reaction included in article.
Ford Reintroduces Model T Line That Made It Great
DEARBORN, MI—Still reeling from a $12.6 billion loss last year and a steadily declining customer base, the Ford Motor Company announced plans Monday to invest its entire third- and fourth-quarter manufacturing and advertising budgets into reintroducing the Model T, one of history's best known and most innovative car models.
Old Man Drops Big Dude For Smoking
Some little old man gets frustrated with some guy smoking next to him so he gets up to walk away and as he passes the big guy he lands a hard nut shot with his cane dropping the dude to the ground.
We Gon' Make Love Until You Wake Up
Brought to you by 'The Whitest Kids U Know' here is a song in the popular R&B style reminiscent of just about any boy band you can think of. Trevor's singing is a little off on this one. Rhythm and Blues doesn't seem to be quite his forte. But we can't write it off e
Futurepedia: It's all good for an otherworldly Super Bowl
While there is no accurate assessment for how long space characters from other dimensions have infiltrated the NFL, the first recorded instance of one in the Super Bowl came in 2008. For Super Bowl XLII, New England Patriots wide receiver Donte' Stallworth admitted he had a Martian alter-ego named Nicco.
Why I won't Debate With You
Common ways that people tick other people off both in debates and in everyday conversation.
The Government's Latest Attempt to Save Us From Ourselves
And i'd just love to see how they finally learn to save stupid people from themselves. Isn't that what Darwin Awards are for?
Federica Fellini Wardrobe Malfunction
This amazingly hot Italian model named Federica Fellini is interviewed on Italian TV. She's wearing a very skimpy shirt and there may or may not be a wardrobe malfunction, I couldn't tell. Can you?
Federica Fellini Wardrobe Malfunction
This amazingly hot Italian model named Federica Fellini is interviewed on Italian TV. She's wearing a very skimpy shirt and there may or may not be a wardrobe malfunction, I couldn't tell. Can you?
Once a Baby-Killer...
For some reason, pro-life Christians think their God is against abortion and baby-killing. I don't get it! There are lots of examples to the contrary in the Bible. I mean, who has killed more babies than the Christian God? Have you read these passages?
Darwin Awards Dimwits 2 - Attack of the Dimwitts
Heres a collection of all of your favorite idiots getting into trouble. Grab yourself a beer, light up a doobie and have fun!
Top 5 Reasons to Hate Captcha Verification
Eeee! Arrgh! My eyes! What the hell does that say? Tired of it? Read a funny rant why others are too.
Thing I plan on doing when I’m old!
They were old! Not to mention they looked like homeless versions of the Golden Girls! I told my lovely wife that we should have ran past the old bird and when we got to the top, turned around and yelled, "We're young AND fast!" coupled with a triumphant waiving of our arms in the air in a manner akin to us not caring.
Making Funny Possible!
How to Innovate in new ways: Funny Marketing Slogans Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay: Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She maybe your grandmother!
Are you fool by any HR? So NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP
Still you are asking HR for help?...lol After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the.......read more.
Family Guy on Picket Line - Very Very Funny
Hysterical blog by a Family Guy writer walking the picking line. Wow this is very funny.
Family Guy blog - Hysterical
Hysterical blog by a Family Guy writer. Imagine a neighbor like this. I would never leave the neighborhood.
Top 10 List of Instant Message Status Msgs
What made top 10 IM list? It wasn't, "Honey can u pick up sum milk on ur way home?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Real Sh*t Said By Comedians
Sometimes comedians say some real and funny shit. Okay, I know they gotta be funny, but some of the material sticks with you. Don't act you don't know this already, some people recite and recall comedy just like they do the latest Lil' Wayne rhymes.
Report: Scientists Don't Know Sh*t
A new study at the Rochester Institute of Technology, to be published in next week's edition of the journal Science, found that scientists don't know shit about anything. "We were surprised to find out exactly how much shit they don't know," said researcher Dr. Roderick Crawford. "I mean, they really don't know their asses from their elbows".
Ferrari Crash
Deluded Ferrari owner attempts massive burnout. Finds too much traction. Finds wall. Oops.
Money Mike - Friday After Next
Money mike, played by Katt Williams, wants to get revenge on to theives who tried to rob his store. Very Funny!
Take a look at a great new invention...The Nut Bra (Video)
Some may consider this a bit tasteless or politically incorrect but I thought is was hilarious. This reminds me of that old Fat Boys song My Nuts:-)
The 2nd best poem about New Zealands 4th best pop/rock,folk
So the Conchords won a Grammy,thats so neat.The country of New Ziiland now bows at their feet.
I Am Declaring War On Cheese
Over the years, I have been eating you. Your coagulated nature; supression of poo; your disagreement with my stomach content, all of these things have disrupted my digestive process. (A clever parody of Anonymous vs. Scientology)
The Naked Poet: Here she comes
Walking on the wet grass,Hand in hand with Juliet,Tumbling along with the Spring breeze
What To Look For In A Woman
Living girls are not only overrated, but they're way overqualified for the job. A dead body works fine. Why waste resources? Having sex with a living girl is like buying a four foot diamond studded gravity bong to smoke tobacco....
What To Look For In A Woman
Living girls are not only overrated, but they're way overqualified for the job. A dead body works fine. Why waste resources? Having sex with a living girl is like buying a four foot diamond studded gravity bong to smoke tobacco....
"Anonymous" is just a little German secret service robot
Scientologists certainly have an interesting perspective on things. "It makes no sense, except that "Anonymous" is indeed just a little German secret service robot. I hope all the people working for Anonymous know that doing German secret service actions on American soil is a very serious offense that could even include the death penalty. "
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The Saturday Bulletin
Somewhere nestled between Norman Rockwell and David Lynch lies the magic of the Saturday Bulletin Armed with a twisted sense of humor and a never-ending supply of public domain artwork from the past, the Saturday Bulletin takes a twisted and humorous look at the once sterile art work of the past.
Ron Paul is Emperor of the USA, but he wants to be President
Ron Paul succeeded Ronald Reagan as Emperor of the USA, a title created by Emperor Norton the First. Read about Emperor Ron Paul's attempts to save the USA and the US Constitution and State's Rights from the corrupt Liberals and Conservatives. Educate yourself in Paulitics.
Has Everyone Gone Mad?
While everyone is talking how cute and funny Juno the movie is, here is another perspective that you need to consider.
Rick Roll's Bartender is...
Those who have been Rick Rolled often wonder what happened to the bartender. The truth is finally revealed.
CupOfFunny.com Made The Blog List
CupOfFunny.com made The Blog List today. Check out the review, bookmark it under humor and have a laugh today.
"I digress..." T-shirt from Zazzle.com
OMG... I think I sometimes drive my friends and co-workers crazy when I'm telling stories... I always get off on a tangent and then when I realize that I forgot what I was talking about I try to recover by saying "I digress..." Anyone else have this issue?
A fucking NET GUN!
Yes Behold the greatness that is the net gun. God I want to buy it just to make a stupid youtube video.
Mail, and Psyco Ex-Girlfriends
Today I went to check the mail, which hadn't be done for about a month or longer and my dad got a very interesting message, along with a Don Cherry hand-puppet. Now word for word I will read you the strange letter which will make you go ballistic in laughter. Now just as a safety precaution my dads name has been changed to Jack.
Dont Say This Shit!
Some surefire ways to get hot women in the sack....these lines cannot fail! . . . .unless you use them!
Friday, February 8, 2008
اس ام اس مخصوص روز ولنتاین
اس ام اس ولنتاین، اس ام اس روز ولنتاین ، اس ام اس روز عشق ، اس ام اس عاشقونه ، اس ام اس زیبا ، sms valentine
Strange Orange Fight in Italy
Every February in the town of Ivrea a famous battle of oranges is held. Thousands of townspeople, divided into nine combat teams, violently throw oranges at each other. So many oranges are unjustifiably spoiled, but I'd like to take part in this!
The Legend of Jenny : The Dumb Blonde Sex Bot.
Jenny the badly programmed IRC sex bot and the logs of people trying to cyber with her.
Professional Lying 101
It must suck to be honest. People ask you a question and you have only one answer: the truth. Me, I have no such failing. When someone asks me a question, I have a whole smorgasbord of lies to choose from.
Best Memory Technique EVER
Beyond hilarious way to improve one's memory through association. One for men, one for women. Can you see this one coming?
A Soldier's View of the war in Iraq.
You won't find this point of view or position anywhere else. Short sweet and worth the read.
In the Asylum
A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his asylum with a couple of students. They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, as you can see from his goose stepping, he thinks he's the World War II head of the Nazi Luftwaffe.............
The Smile of Thai girl make me fresh on every day
This is a stunning young Asian girl.She has all of the qualities that so many seek in an Asian girl.I think she would be able to capture just about any mans heart of her closing.
The Cat in the Hat Gets His Valentines Back
This is a poem about the Cat in the Hat and his confrontation with the Grinch to get his Valentines back.
Rare Bill Hicks Interview from 1992
One of the greatest angry political comedians in a rare interview from 1992 talking about his act and how he has to bow down to no man to say what he has to say.
Soulja Boy: Saved by the Bell Edition!
gotta see Screech's "SuperMan"....def a classic. Crank that Zach, Slater, Kelly, Etc....
Learn to drive, please?
Funny blog entry by me on a bad driver experience. Post comments about your bad driving blunders on the website :) I would love to hear from my readers
Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer game
Hilarious game where you try to discern whether a list of pictures are serial killers or programming language inventors.
Apology Letter from the Wife
Go to the site, read the letter, THEN scroll down to see the picture for full dramatic effect.
Des tanks vraiment tout terrains
C'est impressionnant comme ces tanks sont capables d'aller partout ! Enfin presque partout …
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Stewart & Colbert vs Conan, Huckabee Finale
Here is the hilarious finale of Stephen Colbert vs. Conan O'Brian except Jon Stewart is now involved in the feud.
Spritesapiens Webisode #2 Sneak Preview
A sneak peak at the second Spritesapiens sprite animated webisode is now up on the official Spritesapiens website. It makes a mock at Oscar the Grouch and Elmo from Sesame Street.
Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's (aka Zero Punctuation) Older Reviews
Here are 2 pre-escapist reviews plus an escapist trailer, not to mention a ton of text reviews of everything from games to books.
In Quest for Conservative Credentials, McCain Burns Witch
Republican presidential candidate John McCain burned a witch yesterday outside his campaign headquarters in Alexandria, Virginia, in a gesture some political analysts believe was intended to dispel accusations by rivals that the political veteran may possess dangerously moderate tendencies.
Real Estate Email Humor - Tax Assessment
Real Estate Email Humor - Tax Assessment A funny look at how perceived property values vary by everyone involved in the agreement of a home's true worth.
How to Beat Boredom Before Swipe Out « Myriad Hues
Infy guys try to beat their boredom...(or is it how the pass their time) .. awesome video..with apt sound effects!
Technology is Funny
Most of you people won't believe or agree, but technology and the whole world around it has its own funny side. I was just wondering to make an article over it. I want to prove this fact by three ways:
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Urinal Gum
An superbly sarcastic mockery of realities in America. Absolute twisted humor. There are only a couple issues and I can not wait for more!
Carson Daly's New Mission...
This is a promo we were hired to produce for www.ChannelMe.tv, a cool website that lets you build your own fancy .tv site. The video stars iJustine (from the internet) and Carson Daly (from TV), so it's like the perfect marriage of both technologies! Keep your eyes peeled for various Studio 8 personalities throughout!
Your alias is what again?...
I don't know if this guy just made up this alias to mess with the police or if ppl actually call him that.
Funny Surfing jokes and surf humor
wo surfers are at getting ready to paddle out: Surfer one: ``Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!'' Surfer two: ``Great trade!!!!'' Reasons Why Surfboards Are Better Than the Opposite Sex. Famous last words from Surfers. Things You Always Wanted to Say to Another Surfer. Before Paddling Out. Funny Stuff...
How Many Diggers Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?
Jokes involving the replacement of lightbulbs are of comparatively recent origin, poking fun at a wide variety of occupations, cultures and ethnic groups. They generally go something like this: "How many [insert name of group here] does it take to change a light bulb? Ten--one to hold the light bulb and nine to turn the ladder around."
Cutz for Cancer†fundraiser
February 5, 2008 ~ Thunder Bay ~ Lakehead University is gearing up for this year's "Cutz for Cancer" fundraiser that is expected to raise thousands of dollars in support of the Canadian Cancer Society.
Ironic Time Warner Cable Commercial
SuperJason points out the irony behind Time Warner Cable advertising High Definition service on a channel that is not offered under their service.
HoofShots.com IRC! Come join us!
http://www.uberguilds.org/~pdguild/irc/cgi/irc.cgi We're totally drunk. We like games, naked chicks, and boobs. Seriously, join us. irc.uberguilds.org #hoofshots - or http://chat.pdguild.org
How to shit your pants
A do it yourself guide to soiling one's self The comments are the best part by far!
Amanda Meets the Wizard of Vixar - Associated Content
This is the story of Witch Amanda and her confrontation with the Wizard of Vixar. Witch Amanda and her fellow witches face danger as they attempt to rescue Witch Hillary.
The End of the Wizard's Cruel Rule
This is the story of a good witch that defeats the evil intentions of a cruel wizard.
The Penguin Texts
The ancient wisdom of The Great Penguin as taught by the prophet and high priest The Keeper of The Way!
Christ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion-Clinic Attack
HUNTSVILLE, AL–Jesus Christ, son of God and noted pro-life activist, killed two and critically wounded seven others when He opened fire in the waiting room of a Huntsville abortion clinic Tuesday.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Make a mad penguin! Photoshop Animal Morph. Pretty damn cool
Simple photoshop tutorial to make an angry penguin. (Its not meant to have eyes by the way) Pretty damn cool website!
Too Weird for Real Life: An All New List!
People who might be too weird to go to the bank or have car keys. You be the judge!
9 Weird Explanations for Pet Insurance
Ridiculous claims for trying to squeeze cash out of insurance companies with weird and wild pet tales.
Internet Party: When Google’s Parent’s Leave Town
I saw this floating around you tube the other day, and i just had to post it. It's pretty well done and I would say it portrays the sites quite well.
Silence Please - STFU
This is a poem which is amusing. It's supposed to be dedicated to Quentin Tarantino because of his sophisticated use of language
how to break up with your girlfriend
a how-to video teaching you the delicate process involved in breaking up and continuing the cycle of misery.
Super Fat Tuesday
Great description of what it's like bringing a preschooler to an ultra-busy caucus on Tuesday night.
The Five Most Insane Japanese Game Shows
Japan based solely on its TV shows, you would conclude the following: This is a fictional country. It can't possibly exist. There can't possibly be a place, let alone a modern-day superpower, where people eagerly watch these things happen, then have a laugh, shut off the TV...
Alfonso's bad joke of the day 02/05/08
A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office................
KFC's Sanders vs McDonalds' Ronald - get ready to rumble
Lets get rrrrready to rrrrrumble. Who would win a fight between the old colonel and the yellow spandex'ed clown? Find out how they match up.
Touch that lawn chair and die!
In Chicago placing a lawn chair in a parking spot after shoveling it out is a legally binding contract, and moving said lawn chair without express permission from the owner is punishable by death.
How do people get onto game shows?
Alright, I'm way smarter than people on game shows. So why can't I be handed $100,000 to pay my bills?
Fired: Plagiarising something that asked to be plagiarised.
A newspaper columnist is fired for plagiarizing articles that asked to be plagiarized and distributed: one article is even titled "Plagiarism is not a sin."
Scientists Ask Congress To Fund $50 Billion Science Thing
"While expense is something to consider, I think it's very important that we have this kind of scientific apparatus, because, in the end, I have always said that science is more important than it is unimportant,"
Laughter Is The Best Medicine - JOTD - Nacho Cheese
Two College students were cramming for their finals one evening and realized that they hadn't eaten all day long. They frisked their small fridge and found a six-pack of Miller High Life and a half a jar of jalapeño peppers. They decided about the only thing they could make from these particular ingredients would be nachos.
Monday, February 4, 2008
How to poop at work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a...
The Drunk
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected 2 liters of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 liters of orange juice, a head of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee and a 250g pack of bacon. As she was unloading her items on
Bar Stool Economics
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, It would go something like this:
Under Armour Super Bowl ad or N Korea Military Demonstration
Under Armour's new Super Bowl commercial looks awfully familiar. See if you can tell the difference. Which images are selling sneakers and which ones are selling Stalinism?
Daddy's car in the woods
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could
Stop global warming. Build your own coffin.
With this workbook you can help put an end to global warming. How? By saving a whole bunch of trees. See how you can construct a piece of furniture that can be used now...and forevermore. This book contains everything you always wanted to know about building your own coffin but didn't know you could ask.
Stomach Flu Diet
Lose weight now! Just find someone with the stomach flu (day cares, nursing homes work best) and give them a big hug. Then watch the pounds just pour right out of you!
While the cats away
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up
Lucky Jack
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on
Don't take me if I don't want to go!
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was
Crazy Ethel
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the
Redneck Marketing
A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up." Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for
Sexual intercourse
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, ' Grandma, what 's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?
Sunday, February 3, 2008
All The Super Bowl Commericals You Missed
For some, the Super Bowl commercials are more entertaining than the game itself. That's why we are here to provide you with a recap — and critique — of all the new 30-second spots from the big game.
Having Fun With AT&T!
Read this everyone, funny joke you can play while you are on the phone with AT&T. Wish I could do this.
The ballad of Jesus vs. the vaccinating unbelievers!
The great tale of when the vaccinating unbelievers took on Jesus. Sung to "Jesus loves the little children."
Sweet new Podcast
Hey these guys are doing a weekly podcast and some of their stuff is completley hilarious.
Human Soul Up For Sale on eBay, Only $5.55 Shipping!
"Upon highest bid you will have the power to construct a written contract for ownership of my soul. No physical objects will be included in this sale."
Psychic Website Prank
Trick your friends into thinking this website is psychic. When it asks what type of question it is, enter the ` key, what you want the answer key, then the ` key again. Finish off the phrase "A really good one!". Freak out your friends! NOTE: Doesn't seem to work with Safari.
Unix Section at Local Barnes and Noble
I came across this at the Barnes and Noble in Morgantown, WV today. I didn't realize so many Microsoft products ran on Unix.
Man drives into crime scene with gun, drugs in car
You think? --- During the arrest, the man told deputies, "I'm probably gonna wind up on one of those 'dumb crook' shows,"
God
The test will come on Judgment Day, when man, we are told, will meet his maker. Or will it be God meeting his?
I said TD not T Bill you douchebag!
I hate talking investments. I always feel inadequate. It's hard to defend a retirement plan which pretty much consists of shoving money under my mattress and playing the lottery.
Get the Most Out of Your Car
From SPIKE.com: Between Alice Cooper and Richard Simmons, who do you want to avoid? Alice Cooper of course.
Crack Found In Mans Crack (Drugs And Buttox)
It is mostly just the headline that got me laughing; but sometimes that's all you need. The rest of the story is pretty straight forward, the cops found 15 bags of crack cocaine in dudes butt crack and arrested him.
Top 7 Funniest Mobile Ringtone Moments
A list of the funniest, most awkard and hilarious mobile phone ringtone moments. You have to check this out!
OMGosh THIS is WHY Our Government is TOAST!
A senior Vermont congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (OMG)
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